I.m a serious thinker. Like, think so hard that I make myself frustrated. So I asked a few friends “Is cheating ever acceptable?” This question sparked a great conversation between me and Jeremy. (Who wrote a wonderful know just the other day, go check it out if you are his friend. It.s worth it, I promise.) In my humble opinion (most things I say are, in fact, my opinion), cheating is NEVER acceptable. You have people that would say “Well if they cheat first then it.s ok” or “If they not doing their job, then yea, cheat” but my thing is, what.s the point? If I.m investing my time, emotions, and effort into you and a relationship, why would you cheat? If you wake up one morning and you realize that what we have isn.t what you want or it.s not working out, JUST LET ME KNOW! Yes, my little feelings may be hurt, but I PROMISE you, they.ll mend themselves back together, they usually do. I STILL think “Boyfriend #2” is the most ridiculous song out. It actually pisses me off, I mean really. Allow me to say, if you not 1st, you.re LAST! From personal experience, I.d rather be 1st. Plus Drake put it best, “If ‘she’ is the one, I.m the ZERO, damn.” You know what kind of risks you put yourself in by making yourself anything BUT first. As a matter of fact, forget being FRIST, I.m trying to be the ONE AND ONLY! I.ve gotten mighty selfish lately (should have been selfish, but I digress) and I don.t want to have to share EVER AGAIN! AIDS is real, STDs are real. Being in a monogamous relationship means you don.t have to wonder if your penis is going to fall off because some girl burnt you. But which girl? I.m just being honest.I have been in a loving relationship with myself for 8 months now. It.s been pretty swell, seriously. I learned how much I can take and what my breaking point is. I proved some people wrong (and you know that.s my favorite thing to do AFTER pissing them off). My little heart suffered a small crack, but it.s fully recovered now. But when I think about it, I.m still enjoying being with me and figuring out what makes ME happy. Don.t get me wrong, I was talking to a guy or two but it wasn.t going to go far. I wasn.t ready. I was so focused being in love with me and being married to Nashville State, I didn.t have time for a boyfriend #2 (ok, maybe I see the point if your 1st man is SCHOOL, or another significant dream) I spent the past 2 ½ years dickin (sorry mom) around that I guess I.m trying to make up for lost time. Based on the number of conversations we have had, I believe the guy I.m currently talking to understands this. I like him. He gets a special light in this note. Why? For the past few months, I.ve done nothing but laugh. He.s VERY encouraging, I like that. We mesh really well (thus far) and he.s easy to talk to. I.m honest with him and he knows where I stand on A LOT of things. I like that I can be chill with him. He.s selfish (in a good way), I like that. Yea, I like him. (lol)
“Whoop that hoe, whoop that hoe”
I had to touch on pickin ass females. I HAD TOO!! I, Tiffany Taylor (first name, last name…lol. Inside joke), REFUSE to argue. I.ve BEEN saying this for about 3 years now. If YOU have a problem with ME, come sit down and talk to me like you got some damn sense. We don.t have to agree, we don.t have to hold hands and sing “Lean On Me” but respect me enough to see ME ABOUT ME! There.s nothing that irritates me more when people whisper behind my back. We not 5 nor is this isn.t East Side High. I.ve had a few females test me recently and I just want to say if I didn.t have the friends I have, I would have punked them out. I don.t deal well with people testing me. I am a person, not a machine. If you wanna try your gangsta on somebody else, look in another direction. My sensible thinking won.t always be on, remember this. If you talk a lot of mess about what you gone do and who.s ass you gone whoop, somebody is going to call you out on that one day and the way they acting these days, it may not have a happy ending. I don.t promote violence nor do I encourage it. I.ve tried to end my past beefs with a few people and some weren.t trying to hear it but you know what, the point is I tried. I.m not saying I was trying to be their best friends but I was trying to keep the peace. I may not like you but I really have no full blown beef with anyone. So when I see you, I.ll speak. People say that.s fake but in my eyes, I.m southern, it.s courtesy. I didn.t say I.ll carry on a conversation with you, but at the end of the day, you still a person and I.m going to respect you as a person…at least that much.
Now on to respect…my favorite subject.
I still say you if you can.t be honest with me than there is no way in hell you can respect me. I don.t ask of much from people. But this, I numero uno on my list! I.ve learned A LOT from my mom. She may have taught it to me in 2003, but me looking back on why she would do the things she did, I understand now. Sometimes I wish I didn.t have to take this road, but better to have learned the lesson than to miss out on it. Thanks Mommy :-)! I respect very, VERY few in this life. Every so often I find another reason to respect those I love and I lose respect for those who had it. I.m not really sure how to elaborate more on this. I feel that there really isn.t a “read between the lines” kind of ordeal here.
Who the hell is Dyferent?
Dyferent came about the time I became single. I started realizing that I loved (I still love him, so that really shouldn.t be past tense) somebody and because our situation was “off”, to say the least, I wondered why I was so nonchalant about things. I mean it when I say I.m not the jealous type. I really don.t know why, I.m just not. I could care what the next girl has, what she.s doing, and who.s she.s doing it with. I.ve seen jealously ruin relationships and more likely than not, it.s not really the drama you made it out to be. So, in the end, being jealous makes YOU look like a big dummy. I don.t feel the need to look through my man.s phone. That.s so high school and, in turn, shows that I have insecurities. I agree with House, everybody lies. But I.ve seen somebody right in my face and didn.t even know I knew it. It.s not that I was being sneaky and looked through his phone (because he didn.t have one), HE told on himself! That goes back to me saying, “the world is small so watch out when you are doing your dirt.” That doesn.t mean I.m not paying attention. A friend of mine (and he may not remember ever saying this to me, but I do) once told me, “Just sit back, shut up, and pay attention, and everything will come into play.” I.ve been known to do this and if I bust out laughing it.s because I figured something out. I.ve played the oblivious role before but that wasn.t because I didn.t know. I turned a blind eye to it. If you try to throw an inside joke, more than likely I.m going to catch on. Don.t underestimate me, it MAY be the pit of your downfall. After the past 8 months, I KNOW God is real and I KNOW he.ll never put more on me than I can bare. I.ve had trials and tribulations before but I truly believe this was a great test and I hope I passed beyond expectation. In my many conversations with God, I ask him, what is it that you want me to do? What is my purpose? I.m happy to say that I know where I.m going and everyday it gets a little bit brighter. You see me talking about achievement and grinding hard and I surprise myself because I actually am doing these things. This summer has been HARD for the simple fact, I haven.t hung out like I wanted to. I haven.t been on a vacation like I wanted to because I made an obtainable goal for myself and I.m FINALLY putting in the necessary work to see it happen. I know I didn.t do it on my own, I had the help of the wonderful people God put in my life. In my striving to be Dyferent, I remember not to step on any toes on my way up because I may have to see those same faces coming down. I consider myself humble and caring. These traits are something I pride myself on. I.m still not where I want to be in life or even where I think I should be, but you best believe I.m getting there. Right foot, left foot.
“Sex 4 Suga, suga 4 sex”
I won.t go deep because mommy IS on facebook and she.s been busting my chops about little stuff. Mom, you.re going to be proud of me for this though. SEX ISN.T IMPORTANT….to me. I swear it.s not. I look around me and I see everybody doing it. You can have that. I mean, there.s safe sex but if you aren.t using the condoms, you aren.t being very safe, now are you? AND DON.T GET ME STARTED ON HAVING MORE THAN ONE PARTNER…ugh! I don.t trust ANYBODY right now to engage in it. Listen to the nonsense on the radio, look at the crap on TV. That alone lets me know the world has gone mad with something intended for 2 married people. Like Jeremy said, I read, I work out, I sleep…anything to focus my mind elsewhere. I.ll manage, I have before.
All of this was said because it has been on my mind. These are a few things along with MANY more that I think about when I.m coolin by myself. Agree, if you choose, disagree if you want. Just keep in mind what I.ve said. I.m not passing judgment on anybody, it.s not my job. I just got an opinion or two and felt the need to see if anybody felt me on it. I could be wrong, but the good thing about that is, I don.t mind being wrong. I must end this with my new favorite quote:
“A great nation is like a great man:When he makes a mistake, he REALIZES it.Having realized it, he ADMITS it.Having admitted it, he corrects it.He considers those who point out his faultsas his most benevolent teachers.He thinks of his enemyas the shadow that he himself casts.” –Lao-Tzu
PS...DON.T READ MY ISH TO BE NOSEY...COMMENT! YOU READ ALL OF THIS, YOU MIGHT AS WELL HUMOR ME AND FEED MY EGO (I JOKE, i KID) AND COMMENT!!!!
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