Lately, my mind has been on a rampage. I got this door that I so desperately need closed, yet I don.t know how. For the past 4 years, this door has been open. Looking through the door, I remember all the good times we.ve had. The laughs, the talks, the times that we.ve shared. But I don.t know the person on the other side of the door anymore. I don.t know who you are!
I wanted to fight for you. I wanted to show YOU that I could be...but I gave up. I didn.t see the need to fight. I didn.t see the need to try and work it out. I didn.t see the need to remind you of our love. I just didn.t see the need.
So I have the chance to close this chapter. I have made MANY mistakes in this chapter but I regret nothing. I.m more selective now. I.m more feisty now. I do not trust as easily now. None of these are bad things because had I not been an air head, I would have paid better attention to your mistakes instead of overlooking them.
A friendship as great as ours, is lost. I cannot endure it with you anymore because I do not trust you...anymore. But I hope you are happy with the decisions you have made. Although I do not understand ANY of this, I have come to learn that it is not meant for me to understand. I can no longer block the truth from my eyesight and my heart because at the end of the day, "it is what it is".
So Dear Door,
I tried to push you with all my might to get you to close and I just came to the realization that it is not force that is the trick. It.s time, understanding, and healing that does it. I.ve cried my tears, I.ve screamed as loud as I can. And after bearing my soul, I now see you closing faster now then before. If the person on the other side tries to open it again, he.ll be in for a rude awakening. It.s locked and has no intention on opening back up anytime soon.
:-)
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