It.s 2010 and thus far, I.ve had a lot of time to sit and think to myself. Think about what needed to happen in my life. One of the conclusions I came up with was I, Dyferent, am afraid of love. *crowd gasps in astonishment* I know, me admitting this to myself is a huge deal...HUGE.
The question I am stuck on is why?
3 years ago, I was on my way to fall. Fall madly in love with the gy that made everything make sense for me. Thank God I was fearful back then because that whole situation was false {or so I think}. Don.t get it confused, I.m not fearful of being happy. Love isn.t all about flowers and pink, fluffy bunnies. I.m happy as we speak so I don.t feel like love will bring me instant joy. Like anthing I do in life, it takes time and dedication and as of right now, I am not ready to go down that road. Dating thus far had done nothing but get on my nerves and given me more ammo for the book I never plan on writting but everyone continues to encourage me to do so (go figure).
So forgive me if I laugh at you all for wanting to "be my friend". I.m trying to get rid of some of the friends I have now and really enjoy my me time. Time that involves getting to know me. Learn as much as I can while I have no distractions.
So maybe I don.t fear love. Maybe I know I.m not ready for it at this time. Yeah, let.s go with that for a while.
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